new eating: slimer in a glass.

wow, so the weirdest part of all of this and the biggest difference from before is that i am changing everything.

• before- worked 80 hr weeks through everything.
• now- trying to keep it under 20 and laptop work.
• before- no alt treatments
• now- massages, meditation, exercise and acupuncture
• before- keep it all in and hold stress about it all, handling it all alone'
• now- the entire city has my back and friends over here keeping me smiling
• before- hated my apt and it wasn't comfy, so i didn't want to be here or love my space
• now- redid it, made it comfy and want to be here and heal here.
• before- ate light and lo fat foods, high fiber, but still alot of processed foods..what i thought was healthy changes.
• now- eating raw, veggies (which i hate), almost no processed foods, cutting all dairy to almost none, green juices daily, more water

i do still have one diet coke a day, i have to have my one bad vice. c'mon. they'll go soon...

healthy is not cheap, but its worth it. i dropped about $500 on books, a new juicer and a half dozen other kitchen things i needed to make all this shit. how the f do i cook quinoa? black rice? zest ginger into my tea? i have no damn idea...but with a few hundo dropped at amazon, you tube videos and the book crazy sexy diet, which a friend gave me, i am on the path of becoming a health nut. the thought that America is eating bad food was there, i knew i had seen it on food inc and Jamie Oliver's new show and I'm not an idiot. but maybe i was. it takes work, time and money to eat right. once you make the changes, its pattern and easier but its half the battle.

would i rather be in bed with a pepsi, orange dorito fingers and some pizza, watching nothing but the bachlorette, while in a cancer depression coma? sure. but ill have to get airlifted out of my bed and end up on montel after 4 months and will have a heart attack. i like some good food, i understand moderation, i want to eat well. but like many folks, i have a history of loving junk food, secret eating and grew up without vegetables. veggies were the enemy. and moving out here, i learned what fresh food was. its just not a norm in the rest of America. trader joes didn't hit till my mid 20s and it was all so novel. so seeing anything that says antioxidant or natural in safeway felt healthy. baked lady- hey im a health nut while i sit in bed annialiating a bag of chips. wow. its harder to find fresh, organic food and its just not what is most readily availaible or even served in the hospital (post on that horror story later). where i grew up, we made fun of the natural kid down the street who ate all the weird food and had a garden while we were pounding mini donettes and hi-c ecto coolers. i wish i grew up out here sometimes so i didn't spend my 20's at 380 pounds. and half my 30s battling keeping between 190 and 230 with pseudo healthy choices and too much take out. something is really broken in the system and i get it now.

simple: good food keeps your body healthy and fights diseases. bad food doesnt. genetics only make you pre-dispositioned to certain ailments. sometimes, there are exceptions, yes, but overall- had i eaten well and done this a decade or more ago, we might not be having this conversation.

so, here i go with organic, raw, nutrient based foods. limit cheese and dairy. a cancer researcher told me to go vegan, like it was some kind of secret. maybe i didn't give myself cancer for not being the best eater and healthy, but maybe i did? obesity leads to disease. i spent half my life being majorly overweight. and i still am overweight now. healthier than before, but overweight none the less. its a guilt that is hard to let go. i also see my mom going through it, who ironically just had open heart surgery the day i went in for chemo. and my grandma died a few months back. the women in my family haven't treated their bodies right. i got the soul thing down, i live a great, happy life and i think it extended my brush with all of this hitting sooner, but its time. for me. my mom. and my family to go healthy. its not so bad and i think it will extend my life, possibly helping in keeping cancer away for good.

i started by clearing my cupboards and cabinets of all processed foods, outside of a few staples that aren't too bad. my fridge looks like a farmers market. kale, chard, berries, yams, peppers, tomatoes, onions, beets and i could go on and on. i don't like veggies much and i don't like most of them cooked..lucky me, they are all better for you raw anyway! score for me. i decided to start with juices. all the things i hate that are good for me, i put in a juicer with some things i do like and viola- i get a power punch of veggies and fruit and i feel fucking amazing! this is my new booze.

ill document what i make, recipe wise bc i want my mom to try them all and i want to show people, if i can do it...anyone can! for real. i only went into whole foods for vitamins. i went to farmers markets for flowers. i lived off grubhub.com. i feel better already and i think i can cure myself with eating kick ass foods. after all, its better than relying solely on the poison they are shooting into me. and it can only help and make me a sex kitten in the end. I've accepted my body and though i am far from the 380 i was, i am still about 50 pounds more than i want to be. and i would like to change that. after all, i am almost 40 and i want to be as hot on the outside as the inside. don't we all?

so here are a few simple things that are working so far. they are yummy and easy for me, on week one of my new eating. in my realm of eating and starting to path into a veggie lover.

1. i cut up hella fruit and veggies for snacking and leave them in baggies, glad ware and etc so i have grab able snacks when i want to dive for chips or nibbles. i can eat as much of them as i want so no guilt. carrots, celery, apples (2 per day), oranges, beet chips (i made) and a few more

2. i made some healthy dips so i get my dip craving in...cashew butter ranch dip (sounds barfy but its pretty good), cashew butter vs peanut butter and some salsa. i loove salsa and spice

3. i pre made about 3 jugs of salsa. i cant have enough and everyone loves my salsa, so since its all raw veggies, herbs and yummy goodness, its ok to eat it a few times a day. here i the recipe, this makes about 3 jars of it.

super healthy salsa:

• 10 organic tomatoes (i did roma and some heirlooms)
• 1 red onion
• a few green onion stalks
• 1 red pepper
• i green pepper
• 1 jalapeno
• 4 pablano peppers (can trade out for another jalapeno, go less if you don't want it too spicy)
• 1/2 a watermelon (can substitute with pineapple or mango)
• 2 ears of corn, grilled with salt, pepper and chili
• 4 limes
• 1 lemon
• 5 kale leaves
• half a bundle of cilantro
• few sprigs of mint
• few heavy shakes of salt pepper & turmeric ( i do a few dashes of this bc the anti-oxidant qualities)
• 4 or 5 dashes of tapatio

now i like spicy, this is pretty hot, so cut down on the jalapenos and tapatio if you aren't a spicy fab. i chop it all into little diced up pieces. a mandolin or food processor helps, but i get all zen and chop them all by hand. after all, 45 minutes of work gives me like 3 weeks of salsa. experiment too, i go off of this all the time. any veggies are good. sometimes, i add cucumber too..or other veggies. i sneak in some kale and my veggies bc i don't even know its there.

i use my salsa for dressings, with whole grain chips or for foods i make. i also added it to tomato soup and with an immersion blender, made it all creamy and made a tortilla soup out of it. it makes me eat more veggies. win win.

4. juices.
i start my day with a juice, i got a rad intense juicer, which was worth the 200- smackers. don't get a shitty one, they die too easily. here is my breakfast of champions:

shitkicker morning juice:

• 1 apple
• 1/2 a pear
• 5 pieces of kale
• 2 leaves of other green lettuces- romaine or chard for me
• 1/2 a green pepper
• 1/2 a cucumber
• 1/2 of a beet
• 8 baby carrots
• 1 little piece of ginger or i shave some into the juice after
• few mint springs
• 2 strawberries
• 2 limes
• 1 lemon

ill toss in anything green basically, its not a science. i find if I'm 1/2 greens and add in fruits, some herbs and some non green veggies...I'm all set and this thing is like an energy blast and it doesn't taste bad! its pretty good. this makes me enough for a big breakfast juice. i usually fridge half for an hour after i finish the first one. then I'm charged up for the day.

5. other snacks and hunger beaters- i go with lots of decaf green tea with a pinch of agave and some ground ginger. i also do this iced. lots of water to fill me up. sunflower seeds. rice cakes (sprouted or healthy birdseedy kind) and when I'm really dying for carbs or old eating- i make a slice of peanut butter toast with sprouted grain ezekial bread and some cashew or natty peanut butter and one little slice of organic cheese. this tides me over in the tough spots.

phew, nuff for now. i expect to be a cancer free size 8 any day now....haha.