me -vs- reality tv women

my newest guilty pleasure addiction of bad tv is the bachlorette. now, i would love to be nothing more than a noble, wise person who says i got rid of my tv and have chosen a higher path of life that involves reading literature, creating and using all my down time to enrich my spirit. i tried that. it sucks. books make me fall asleep most of the time. i cant sit still. i spent the last 5 years not watching tv, except on hulu via laptop, which ps gives you a fucking headache. i made stuff, started businesses, worked all the time. fuuuuck that. i am pretty stoked to take a day or two a week to sit on my ass and watch horrible tv while i heal. it makes me realize how rad my life is to see how lame reality tv is.

case in point the bachlorette. these people are so idiotic is they think the tv fueled romantic dates represent an ounce of what their lives would be like in reality. i don't know about you, but my first dates always involve renting a private beach with fire dancers, millions of rose petals surrounding us and fireworks. totally. don't get me wrong, i still watch with part wonder. part disgust. part happy smiley romcom face on. but the more i watch it, the more i realize that i am a dream date.

ok, so i may have some flaws. let's set aside the chubby, workaholic, cancer strikes. we all got cons. pros:
- unlike women in their 20's, i like myself and my fucked up body.
- no worry of being a freeloader. got my own businesses fool.
- no roomates
- if you date me you will have endless tee shirts for life. that doesn't suck. ask my business partner.
- you can tell your friends you are handy but secretly i can fix and build everything
- birth control not necessary
- my dream dates usually involve a show, shooting bows & arrows, vegging to bad movies and a pizza, shooting bb guns or making stuff. what i call bro dates. shit you'd do with your bros and i actually find it romantic.
- i can sew the holes in your jeans
- i can build you a table
- prefer making out to metal or stoner rock
- mom's love me despite tattoos
- you can go out with the dudes as much as you want when im in chemo. bonus.
- it's like dating the home depot. have you seen my power tools?
- overall rad lady

i could go on and on. not because i have ego. or not bc im trying to sell myself to the men of sf. because i am horrified by the women on tv. bachlorette. real housewives of anything. women are scaring me. big time. i realize my by lack of boyfriends but somewhat steady stream of suitors, that i am a novelty- whether its the bad ass novelty. or your chubby chaser moment. or a pseudo cougar novelty. but i hold steady with my claim that i would be a rocking girlfriend and while im taking time off- being healthy. relaxing a bit. i will stop running from the dreaded word- boyfriend. because if tv is ANY representation of women out there, shit i am definitely putting myself on the awesome lady list, no longer comparing myself to anyone.