not having to talk about cancer anymore. maybe i should change the name of the blog. still doing ok. all things clear with the doctors. shit, at this point, i have dodged death about 2 times, had more surgeries that id like to count and have been financially destroyed and come back up. i hate politics bc the system sucks and isnt for small business owners with cancer bills. duh. i hate relationships half be i cant get one and half bc i just havent found anyone crazy enough to keep up. people come and go. loyalty comes and goes sadly. and we all get sick or have shit go wrong. but in the end, i am 100% convinced if youre happy and go out of your way to retrain yourself how to think- you can beat it all man. all of it.
somedays i feel like a tiny bit of ghandi slipped into my burito that i just have little drama, sadness and seem to always just do ok. maybe its the whole nutsac of cancer that makes you look death in the face and just stop sweating the lil stuff. maybe im just crazy. but its been about 2 years now, that i just am happy like 95% of the time. i feel good. i feel energized bc i get to be here. bring on the 20 hr days, i can take em. if you just shut off that voice in your head that makes you question everything more than you should- i think you just start going for it. and that can fix just about anything or any situation.
it feels super freaking good to be okay. and to be here, smiling and kick more and more ass daily. i look forward to continuing to slay and destroy every weird thing i want to do. (except knitting & dating, apparently i suck at those despite the minimal lazy effort)
thanks for all the love and support guys. i dont take it for granted. though im usually too busy to thank everyone or even dig out of my 5000 emails, i do appreciate every person who has helped me, patted me on the back or cheered me on. this is what community is and how much it can lift a person in a shitty situation. <3
No comments:
Post a Comment